The film below called self sabotage with the bad feelings generator explains everything in more detail. If you identify with anything that is written here then you will recognize the constant force of this process to pushing your happiness down.
If you suffer from worry, stress, anxiety or depression have you ever wondered why bad feelings never seem to end? It is as if there is a well of bad feelings and buckets of them just keep getting pulled up. Or as I often think of it, it's like there is a battery of bad feelings that gets recharged over night and then discharges bad feelings into your system throughout the day.
If this is your experience then you know how puzzling it can feel to have day after day of bad feelings without any obvious reason for them. So where does this constant streams of bad feelings come from?
First let's take a look at what self sabotage does to you. No matter what you do it is never good enough. No matter what you experience it is never pleasurable enough, no matter what you try it never delivers what it should.
Are you always struggling with some form of unfavorable comparison with what you achieve compared to what you feel you should have achieved? Do you struggle with how you should be compared to how you are? What 'it' should be like, and what you think others think about you, what you have failed to do compared to what you should have done.If so you have experienced the bad feelings generator in action.
The bad feelings generator is a process that continually makes comparison between your current state and a hypothetical alternative that is better in every way but is usually vague and ill defined.
The bad feelings generator
In my work with numerous clients over many years I have seen a pattern of thinking that seems to me to explain where the bad feelings generator is located and what it looks like. I think that this knowledge gives us a real opportunity to take a long hard look at the bad feelings generator and to really put some effort into turning it down or even getting rid of it all together.
When you say to yourself 'I should', in that instant you are creating an internal dissatisfaction with yourself because in essence you are making yourself feel that you have failed in some way. You did not meet some internal high standard.
You may fool yourself into thinking that it is really only the act of encouraging yourself, or pushing yourself to do better but that is to misinterpret this process. the bad feelings generator only does what it says, it only creates dissatisfaction. It never gives you action points or pointers to what you can improve your life. The bad feelings generator sabotages your quality of life and your happiness but gives you nothing of value in return. And, because it is simply a process that creates dissatisfaction there is never an end point. That is until you learn to accept yourself for who you are and what you are.