Here is why Donald Trump just doesn’t get it.
Reading based Psychologist Dr David Purves thinks that Donald Trump misses the point, as does everyone else who dismisses his ‘locker room banter’, as just meaningless talk. Here is why!
To talk, we have to possess both language and concepts of expression to be able to articulate fluently and coherently. If we lack language or concepts of expression, then no recognisable talk is possible. I can’t talk at all in Chinese because I don’t have the language to be able to do so. Furthermore, even if I could speak Chinese I would still require some understanding of the social concepts, ideas, norms and permissions, regarding what is and what is not acceptable, as well as the local idiom of expression, if I was to be able to have a meaningful conversation. Key to acceptance within any culture is an understanding of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to say.
We have a choice of what we say and how we say it, based on the range of language and concepts we have existing within us. Donald Trump chooses to talk in the way he does because it matches his sense of acceptable things to say. In fact, we never say things that are unacceptable to us, unless we are under extreme duress. Therefore, Donald Trump is only able to express his own beliefs and norms. So there is no credible way to take back and dismiss what was said, because he was simply expressing what he believes and what is acceptable to him.
You might argue that politicians as a group rarely express their own beliefs because they are holding a consensus party line. But I would argue that their talk is still within the sphere of what they believe is acceptable for them to say.
Depression is wrong thinking and talking practiced until it feels true
Now let’s move away from Donald Trump and focus on you! If you criticise yourself, then you are doing a ‘Donald.’ You are expressing what you believe is acceptable to say about yourself. However, depression is characterised by an abiding focus on perceived personal faults and failings, and on perceived loss and lack of positive experiences. Through practice, these perceived notions about yourself become acceptable to express. However, such beliefs are biased and their repetition only serves to make them seem more true. Repeating a lie does not make it the truth!
Anxiety is equally biased
The abiding sense of threat that underlays anxiety is likewise the result of faulty and biased thought processes that nevertheless gain a patina of truth through repetition and lack of challenge.
If this has a ring of authenticity for you, then you may need to do something about it, particularly if you want things to change. The simple repetition of negative beliefs about you, other people, or the world in which you live, has a corrosive and damaging effect on your internal world. It becomes dark and unhappy, leading to depression and anxiety.
Some years in the future, if and when Donald Trump has stopped blaming everyone else for seeing through the window he opened into his own internal world, he may come to realise that we make the world we inhabit through the beliefs we hold and the views we express. And subsequently, this leads to the things we do. This is a well-known fact. So, if you want to have a more positive experience, the first thing you need to do is change how you think about yourself. Challenge what is not objectively true and don’t accept thinking that is not acceptable!
Cognitive behaviour therapy for life change
If you want to have a different life then you can start with the Panic Pit Stop course. It will give you at least 8 weeks of focused Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Active Self Help activity. This puts the booster pack on your personal development.
Join the Active Self Help Community here.